If My Life Were on Television….

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I know, I know… There are already like, a million reality shows on TV right now. Some shows literally follow people around with cameras waiting for drama and action to happen while others are competitive, non-celebrity participants (at least before the show). Others give you a show through dancing and singing and whatnot.

I don’t watch any of them (insert gasp).

I always tell people when they give me ‘that look’ for not being one of the millions of viewers most evenings of the week that I’m too busy living my own life to spend time watching someone else live theirs. I work full time, own a very demanding dog, enjoy travelling, writing, and am trying to grasp the concept of blogging as my new hobby. This made me wonder though; what kind of show would mine be like if I were to have a television show of my own? 

Channel?

Most days people who know me well would say I’d be fitted well for a comedy show. Think “Scrubs” or some other scripted/internally monologued show and perhaps even include the hospital theme since that’s along the line my work as a surgical instrument technician BUT with a lot less down time, income and presitige. I mean for crying out loud I call my department ‘the boat rowers’ because we are located beneath where all the fame and glory occurs. SPD= Sterilization, Processing and Distribution or whenever the folks in the operating room wanna go upper class they say ‘stupid people downstairs’ (go ahead, laugh… we’re used to it). No one thinks about us during their visits to the hospital but no one wants an infection. None of the action one would expect in a hospital show goes on where I work so with the need to keep ratings in mind, I’d argue my show would primarily need to occur somewhere else.

Perhaps it could be a drama. I’ve walked the fine line of life and death before- after recovering from an aneurysm I’d say I’m pretty experienced at deathbed scenes and looking ill. I’ve also had ups and downs relationship wise (none of the downsides were my fault- ha!). Maybe it would be something Lifetime would pick up and they could feature the constant concerns I have about my own future and those around me- how I always end up giving advice to people when I’ve never been in the situation they’re experiencing- how most times when I need advice the show’s sound techs could chime in the violins or crickets. Eh, it’d be depressing to re-live and come to think of it I hate dramas.

Or maybe it could be on an action channel like Spike or FX. Wait. I don’t do much action and adventure. I’ve never gone skydiving, swam with sharks, made deals with the mob, saved the world or saved anyone from any inherent danger EXCEPT when I saved my mother while she was trying to put out a fire and the time my neighbor walked in on a burglar. But those incidents occurred years apart from each other and the viewers of action and adventure want to see a little more action, more often than that.  

Characters? 

Who would star in the show? Or would I act as myself? Hmmm… People say I look a lot like one of the characters on that show Grey’s Anatomy (you guess which one). Maybe I could call her up and see if she’d be willing. Something tells me she’d be out of my salary range though…. 

Seasons 

I’d so be game for it to be a half season show with 6 episodes every 6 months. Let’s keep it short and sweet. I wouldn’t allow myself or my family to be exploited nor would I want to allow for any accidental messages to be sent out to my audience. I guess the theme would be about a life that has obstacles like everyone else but with hard work, family and a spiritual center- one can get by just fine. I wouldn’t want it to focus solely on rewards through materialism. There would be minimal advertisements during the show and perfection would not be emphasized. If you think about it, most of the shows that are on right now focus on materialism; managing the over-sized house(s) expensive car(s) and other over-priced name brands.

I’ll be honest I’m camera shy. They’d have a heck of a time trying to find me and I’d probably make a game of hiding throughout the filming of it until whatever network I was on decided to cancel my show- which would likely be pretty quick. The media would probably feature a short article online about my short-lived series along with the others that got cut-off that season. They’d call me a loser and perhaps take a guess at which direction my career/life would go. Perhaps members of my family in their vanity would try to get a show of their own. The overall message would be that I lost. Guess what? I’d disagree. With one less reality show there’d be more opportunity for folks to do what I said above in the very beginning when it comes to the reason I don’t watch reality TV: to get out and live your own life. 😛   

Do tell me- what kind of show would your life be like?    

 

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