Dear Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Competitive,
I know you would love some complement regarding your ability to out-wit and out-do most people you know. I wish there were some minor trophy I could mass produce and hand out to acknowledge your minor accomplishment but really I (and everyone else) was too busy living our own lives to give a damn.
We’ve figured out this God-awful trait in you and for the most part, we no longer care. It was painful enough to have to write this letter as is. This is something we discuss about you behind your back. It’s pitiful. It’s something we may have divulged to you in some sort of secret way but you failed to pick up through casual conversation. No one cares that you shop more than the rest of us, or that you exercise more than the rest of us (seemingly only when others pick up the activity) and yet manage to broadcast on social media. No one cares to see that you can out-wit, out-garden, out-bowl, out-clean, out-cook, out-recreationalize and out-do the rest of what everyone else manages to regularly do in the normal span of a day, week or season. In your mind it seems to work out that way you are a champion. Reality is often a different place though.
Given it seems it’s what you need- you have our permission to pat yourself on the back.
Most of us don’t care that you are the way you are. We simply roll our eyes, laugh and live out our normal lives, sans your drama. I’m simply only noting it here for this purpose.
The Rest of the World