I Have to Believe


Image courtesy of Google.


A heartbreaking and heartwarming moment I had to experience today even while going through my own stress. Pets. Today, my own beloved canine-son Oliver had to undergo surgery to remove a pesky cyst that had been aspirated and drained multiple times over the last few months- instead returning, only to grow larger in size within a matter of weeks. It was only fluid and therefore not cancerous or tumorous in nature. Just pesky.

My own Oliver who will be 12 next month, I vow to take care of him until forever as far as I’m concerned- has only minor issues regarding arthritis, cataracts and his kidneys- There’s slight evidence of both but the vet who’s probably human equivalent in Oliver’s age said he’d trade for Oliver’s issues in a heartbeat. The vet (Dr. Baker) is a colon-rectal cancer survivor.

I was anxious awaiting news for the completion of Oliver’s surgery because at first they re-did the blood work and his kidney levels were elevated  since last check. The vet asked me if I still wanted the surgery as it was riskier for him to go through anesthesia. Of course I asked if she was still comfortable to proceed and she said she would do every she could to make sure Oliver was safe. I know that means a lot and I also understand the risks. I told her it would be either now or never because I know the trickiness it takes to try to lower a dog’s kidney level. I didn’t want to waste anymore time. I didn’t want to wait any longer for him to be cut on. Simple as that.

Fast forward, post surgery. All is well for Oliver.

I’m headed to pick Oliver up to bring him home when in the parking lot I see a man and his daughter struggling to bring their dog who I found out is named Annie, a twelve year-old of what I’d guess to be some sort of collie-shepherd mix (or something close to it). She was a spry, alert lady- but her health was failing. Her owners told me she had arthritis, cancer and congestive heart failure. Her legs were swollen and she could not walk except for a few haphazardly steps. They were bringing her in to put her down.

I was drawn to this dog and her last minutes here with life. I couldn’t keep my hands off of this little lady who’d done her best to be loyal and faithful to her companions but alas, time always wins. It’s a blessing but also such a cruel thing. I said multiple prayers for Annie as I pet her head and gave a good ole fashioned belly rub for a few minutes. I was in tears by the time I stood up to take care of the business regarding my own four-legged son. All life is precious to me, save the mosquito and germy housefly. They could eradicate those two and I wouldn’t shed a tear. Annie seemed like a great canine friend and her 12 years were definitely significant to her owners, especially on one of the worst days they had to endure.

I have to believe there is some place beyond here where there is some sort of (meta) physical interaction for us and our loved ones- no matter the form they had here physically. I never want to think nor be in the mindset that a great relationship ends the moment that organism ceases to function. I have to believe that the souls and unique interactions can continue on at another time and in a another space conducive to those elements of which the soul and its livelihood can exist.

To me it’s not a God thing- I would never exclude another belief system to whom others have been loyal. It seems wisest that no soul ever knows until that time- what they are capable of until afterwards. In the canine/feline world I wish it to be true.

This post is for all the loyal Annie’s and everyone else crossing over both today and before.


One response to “I Have to Believe

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